so live for today

The closer you get to the top, the more you’ll find there is no “top.”

There is only one success- to be able to spend your life in your own

way. Everyday is full of decisions – questions that create crossroads

in life- every decision you make affects who you will be, and more

importantly, who you are. These forks in the road make you, break

you, and take you for a ride. Follow your heart, and choose your

path carefully because sometimes the walk back is just too far. Ive

learned that things change, people change, & it doesn’t mean you

forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move

on & treasure the memories. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it

means accepting that some things weren’t meant to be. You don’t

ever stop loving someone; if you do, you probably never really

loved them. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the

moment & making the best of it, without knowing whats going to

happen next. Take chances; life is not fun without them! If you screw

up at least you learned something. You have to take the good with

the bad, smile with the sad, love what you have, and remember what

you had, always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes,

never regret, people change, things go wrong, just remember

life goes on. Eventually everything will fall into place. Until then…

laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that

everything happens for a reason. I’ve learned that even the one

person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You

will have your heart broken more than once and it’s harder every

time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours

was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new

love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing so

fast and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many

pictures, laugh too hard, and love like you’ve never been hurt,

because every minute you spend mad or upset is a minute of

happiness that you’ll never get back. I don’t really care what anyone

thinks about me, my good friends know me and really that’s all that

matters. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by

learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Only after we have

lost everything, are we free to do anything… Throw things out there

and not be perfect and not have answers to anything and see if

people understand. Love one person, take care of them. Love them

most when they deserve it least because that’s when they need it

most. Take time to find out what it is that you need in order to feel

happy alone.

if only we were honest

That’s exactly what Noah Gundersen is.  His lyrics are honest.  Nothing is candy-coated… it’s simply life. The ups, the downs, the joys, the pain, and the memories in between. I can’t even explain the feeling I get when I listen to his music. He has two CD’s on iTunes right now, Brand New World and Live at the Triple Door – both which are amazing. I feel like his lyrics speak my mind and give me a new way to see the world – one of the greatest things about music. I wish I could write like him.

You can find some of his music here:

http://www.myspace.com/noahgundersen

Jesus, Jesus is one of my favorite songs by him. This song is raw. It’s intense. Brutally honest.
I think sometimes Christian’s are afraid to admit that we have questions, that we don’t know everything, that we doubt. Looking at the world we can see the beauty that Christ created yet at the same thing all the terrible things that have corrupted it. Amazing how both can exist.

everytime i listen to this song, i take a big breath in and exhale…
it breaks my heart and ignites passion at the same time.
and Jesus, Jesus – i pray you continue to move in our generation
and forgive us for we do know what we do… create in us a pure heart
one that strives after your heart and cleanse us from our impurities.

“People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.” -Bob Dylan

this song answers questions and leaves you with new ones.

Jesus, Jesus – by Noah Gundersen

Jesus, Jesus, could you tell me what the problem is
With the world and all the people in it?
Because I’ve been hearing stories about the end of the world
But I’m in love with a girl and I don’t wanna leave her
And the television screams such hideous things
They’re talking about the war on the radio
They say the whole thing’s gonna blow
And we will all be left alone
No we’ll be dead and we won’t know what hit us

Jesus, Jesus, if you’re up there won’t you hear me
‘Cause I’ve been wondering if you’re listening for quite a while
And Jesus, Jesus, it’s such a pretty place we live in
And I know we fuc*ed it up, please be kind
Don’t let us go out like the dinosaurs
Or blown to bits in a third world war
There are a hundred different things I’d still like to do
I’d like to climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower
Look up from the ground at a meteor shower
And maybe even raise a family

Jesus, Jesus, there are those that say they love you
But they have treated me so d*mn mean
And I know you said ‘forgive them for they know not what they do’
But sometimes I think they do
And I think about you
If all the heathens burn in hell, do all their children burn as well?
What about the Muslims and the gays and the unwed mothers?
What about me and all my friends?
Are we all sinners if we sin?
Does it even matter in the end if we’re unhappy?

Jesus, Jesus, I’m still looking for answers
Though I know that I won’t find them here tonight
But Jesus, Jesus, could you call me if you have the time?
And maybe we could meet for coffee and work it out
And maybe then I’ll understand what it’s all about

Moss on a rolling stone – by Noah Gundersen

I believe nowhere is a better place to be
than not knowing where you’re going now
I said education is a better state of mind
but I’d trade all my books to find a home
if I made bets on a better time
I’d lose my money every single dime
I believe moss on a rolling stone
is better than the rust that’s growing on my house
’cause it eats at you sometimes

chorus:
the more you struggle
more you fight it
more it clings to you at night
the more you wonder
more you dream
the more you pray it starts to die
and it does
though it kicks you in the side
yes it does
though it takes a little time

I believe heaven is a pretty place to stay
but not knowing scares me half to death
I believe God is a bigger man than me
but sometimes I think that I can fight him
we kicked the devil on a friday night
just about lost when he came in close and tight
took him with a punch to his gritty chin
asked him to please not come back here again
but he eats at me sometimes

chorus:
the more you struggle
more you fight it, more he clings to you at night
the more you wonder, more you dream
the more you pray he starts to die
and it does,  though he kicks you in the side
yes it does,  though it takes a little time

I believe home is a place that I will get someday
if someone just will hold me
I believe hope is a thing that I will find some time
if someone just will show me
I believe love is given, going, gone
come back to kiss me on the forehead
I believe moss on a rolling stone
is better than the rust that’s growing on my home
’cause it eats at me sometimes

chorus:
the more I struggle, more I fight it
more it clings to me at night, the more I wonder
more I dream, more I pray it starts to die
and it does, though it kicks you in the side
yes it does
though it takes a little time …

Make sure to check out the rest of his music. Enjoy.

and good night…

I may not have much to write, but I am always getting excited about new things.

Every day I find something new to love, appreciate, and that is of value to me.

I hope that in this blog I will be able to document some of my favorite things about this wonderful life.

I will be adding pictures along the way as photographs are my favorite way to freeze memories.

Music will also be playing a huge part and maybe I can organize my thoughts through some of the lyrics I like here. I love finding new music and have been finally getting around to updating my music, which has made me so happy! I feel like music is a never ending supply of fresh thoughts and ideas.  It’s crazy the way that music can move you. I wish I spent more time making play lists and being creative with the lyrics I like – but I’ll save that for another day.

Journal thoughts:

I have stayed up way too late. I do this so often and then struggle to wake up in the morning. If only I could learn how to get up early, be productive, and go to sleep at a decent time. I’m trying to learn how to slow down… but also realizing that I know exactly what keeps me RUSHING, rushing, RUSHING day after day… organization. If only I could be organized I would be able to make time for the things that actually matter and deserve more of my time.

I can’t believe that school starts a week from Monday. I still need to buy books. Hope I can find them at a decent price.

I’m pretty random. I don’t try, it just happens. All my thoughts connect to something else which makes me think about something else. Some people will try to tell you that randomness is bad or annoying but I think it’s a blessing. I’ve had so many life experiences and know the value of ‘connectnedness’ if that can even be a word. I love the way that things can connect and relate to different things. I LOVE that. I really do. So if my randomness bothers you – that’s your problem, not mine.

Tonight I found a blog from a guy a met a couple of years ago at a church conference. Reading his experiences and looking at the pictures made me wish I was doing something besides just living for myself. The pictures are incredible. They are the type of pictures that make you want to do something, looking for movement, if you please. I’ve had my experiences overseas and they are still different from what he’s doing. I love how he said that he doesn’t want you to do something out of pity but simply passion. That things could be better. I always think of how we send people away when there are hurting people right here, but I can’t help tonight but to think of how much I wish I was there. Realistically, and I guess that means not having enough money and the need to finish school… I can’t just leave everything and go overseas somewhere…

So tonight Lord, I pray for movement. That you would give me passion for movement right here where you’ve placed me.  My plan is to get involved with the youth ministry at church when I get back. My passion is for youth. Lord, please ignite that fire and get myself ready so that I can be a servant to be used by you to reach the youth. My heart goes out for middle school students and I know that it takes a special person to want to work with that age group. I’ve realized that I must take advantage of that and be a servant to that age – because it’s definitely not for everyone. Whenever I mention that’s my major, people think I’m crazy – but I love them, and will continue to love them because that’s where I’m called to be. Lord, use me where you’ve placed me. and praise the Lord for the boy that Megan works with. He was supposed to have a surgery with a high morbidity rate and this was taking a huge toll on the whole family. Today they went in for his blood work and found that the illness he had is COMPLETELY gone. An INCURABLE illness in his condition. Complete gone. He won’t need that surgery any more. Praise the Lord.

Listening to: Owl City

Currently reading: John Piper – What Jesus Demands from the World

Goals: Organize room, buy books before the 24th, make some playlists, print pictures at costco, love more, give more, serve more

Good night!